Attachment Styles 101: How Your Childhood is Shaping Your Relationships

By Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario
Keywords: attachment styles, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, relationship trauma, healing love patterns

Have you ever wondered why you crave closeness—but push people away when they get too near? Or why do you give your all to someone, only to feel emotionally neglected in return?

The answer may not be about who you’re dating—but about how you were loved as a child.

Welcome to attachment styles—your emotional blueprint for relationships. These subconscious patterns quietly shape how you connect, love, argue, and trust. And until you understand them, they’ll keep playing out like background music in every relationship.

What Are Attachment Styles?

Attachment styles come from how your primary caregivers responded to your emotional needs growing up. Whether they were nurturing, inconsistent, critical, or absent—your brain adapted. Those adaptations formed your attachment style.

Let’s break them down:

🔹 Secure Attachment

You feel safe giving and receiving love.
You trust easily, communicate openly, and know how to set boundaries. You’re able to ask for what you need—without fear of abandonment or rejection.
🟢 Most of us are striving to get here.

🔸 Anxious Attachment

You crave closeness—but fear abandonment.
You might overanalyze texts, feel insecure without constant reassurance, or stay in unhealthy relationships just to feel loved. You need love—but you’re afraid it will disappear.
🧠 Rooted in inconsistent caregiving or emotional unpredictability.

🔸 Avoidant Attachment

You value independence—but struggle with intimacy.
You shut down when things get too emotional. You avoid conflict—or people altogether. You pride yourself on not needing anyone… but deep down, you feel isolated.
🧠 Rooted in emotionally distant or unavailable caregivers.

🔸 Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment

You want love—but fear it will hurt.
You bounce between needing closeness and fearing it. You might experience explosive breakups, emotional highs and lows, or feel paralyzed when it comes to commitment.
🧠 Rooted in trauma, abuse, or inconsistent parenting + emotional neglect.

The Problem? These Patterns Don’t Heal on Their Own.

Attachment wounds are deep. They don’t vanish just because you want healthy love.
You have to relearn connection. Rewire the emotional responses. And sometimes—reparent the inner child who never felt safe.

But Here’s the Good News:

You can heal.
You can develop secure attachment—even if you didn’t grow up with it.
You can love without losing yourself. Trust without fear. Communicate without anxiety.

💡 Ready to Heal Your Relationship Patterns?

Join Dr. Jacquie’s Trauma Treatment Course and start the journey toward secure attachment, emotional clarity, and healthy love.

🔍 Not Sure Where to Start?

👉 [Get Started with Relationship Keys]
Find out your dominant attachment style and get a custom path to healing.

❤️ Want to Rebuild Love After Heartbreak?

Explore the “Relationship Keys” program—designed to help women like you heal from past pain and create relationships built on truth, trust, and transformation.

You weren’t born broken. You were wired for love—and it’s never too late to heal.